I’m so tired of it.
I’ve been chasing success for the good part of the last 4 years, and it doesn’t take a genius to see that it’s done more harm than good for me. I’m constantly unhappy with myself, and I rarely give myself grace when it comes to failing. There’s this constant burden to work hard and it’s been so suffocating and stressful.
It’s a perpetual cycle of greed and dissatisfaction. And it’s also done harm to the perception of my own image. I’m never satisfied with the way I look or how strong I am.
And the worst part of it all, is that it’s all in my head. Everybody is living their own lives and worried about their own problems. It’s honestly really self-centered to have these worries and to project blame onto anyone else.
So what am I gonna do about this? What can I do? Well the most recent sermon at my church focused on what is called deep and true satisfaction. And this is the sort of joy and fulfillment that can only be derived from and infinite and eternal truth. That is the grace and gift of Life from God. When you put this into perspective, everything else becomes so insignificant. So what if I’m not completely shredded. So what if I’m not the best at coding. So what if I make mistakes. I have a God who loves me for who I am, and nothing could ever take that away from me.
With that in mind, I want to shift my mindset and focus on these goals instead:
- good health so that I can be helpful and relied upon by others.
- challenge myself so that I keep on growing.
- practice gratitude and praise God, because it’s only through him that any of this is possible.